I am a woman. A strong woman. A black woman. A vulnerable woman. Like most women, I am someone who needs to slow down. I need to take time for myself instead of listening to all of the noise outside of me. I need to listen to what my body is trying to tell me.
I have always had a love for plants (so much that my husband and I had our wedding at a plant nursery). Growing up my mother had the same few plants scattered around the house. It amazed me how she just knew when they needed tending. The peace that floated around her body when she spent quality time with greenery was like no other. Calming.
This is exactly how I began my hobby with plants. I have had anxiety for what seemed like forever and have mastered the art of hiding it. When 2020 hit I believe the anxiety got worst, not just for me, but for everyone. Everything was so unexpected and my thoughts would not shut off. There were so many "what if's".
I noticed when I stopped and spent time with my plants there was pure serenity. Watering, wiping leaves, showering, draining, cutting, repotting...cleaned my mind from the "what if's" of the year and helped me focus on growth.
I began to journal and realized everything I do for these plant I need to do for myself.
Watering: Making sure I am nourished.
Wiping: Not allowing anything to block my sunlight.
Showering: Removing dust and dirt so I can have better ability to photosynthesize. Breathe.
Draining: Allowing myself to release the negative emotions that haunt me. Let them go.
Cutting: Releasing what doesn't serve me anymore.
Repotting: Giving myself new room to grow.
This resembles a journey to self care and everyday it is a journey. Light a bomb smelling candle and take care of yourself.
Every leaf serves a purpose and sometimes it's only there to help push new growth.